“Oh Maxine, how tired you look.”
I sympathized with the young cat who laid exasperated on the bathroom floor. Her three kittens slept nestled in the corner of the bathroom with full tummies. I was on the toilet when I watched her quietly slip away from the corner where they were all tucked away safely. In the center of the bathroom floor she caught herself a moment.
I stared in her eyes and recognized the emotions that seemed to be shared between us. Relating with the young mothers attempt at a break. A matter of fact, at this moment i found a message of reassurance. As i’ve been healing and rebuilding from my divorce, many times i have found myself overwhelmed by the high demand of need that surrounds me. Just like the young cat, I would find myself creeping from my gillies to catch my breath, seeking out a moment of grounding.
The difference between the two was that this young cat laid in her natural instinct confidently while I questioned my motherhood and love towards my children. Was I wrong for pulling away?
Maxine slowly opened her eyes as her absence was discovered. Small meows started from the corner and promptly she got up to return. She looked back as if to sign a forgiving and compassionate “No.”
In that moment I settled in my heart that I am doing the best I can. Pulling away to sit in my car and blast music or walk through nature in meditation is all a form of self-care.
This recuperation shown me how much of myself I had almost lost, and I will not let that happen again. My children, God bless them, will eventually be grown and I will be left to relinquish them to their God-given purpose, for they are not mine to keep. I will be left with what I started with, myself. Knowing when to detach is wise, in my humble opinion. Holding them too tight may hinder them as well as me.
As a mother it’s so easy to build an identity around my children but just like i told a friend who looked at himself as a criminal because he spent time in prison. He committed a crime and spent his time, but that is NOT his identity. Being a mother is my current job along with a few other hats, but that is not WHO I AM. Domesticated house goddess I tease when people ask, but aside from that, I am still a someone who struggles, who has needs, who has passions.. I am human.
She is cat
But in that moment we were one as I was comforted with messages and revelations to rest in the knowledge that I am doing my best.. even by knowing when to take time to breath.
SO BREATH
Even if you aren’t a parent, rest from life’s everyday demands is essential. How are some ways you find time to rest and or ground yourself from the daily grind? We would love to hear about it in the comments below!
